Glass Does Not Like Me

Glass Does Not Like Me · 14 December 2024

I do not know about you, but there are inanimate objects that do not like me. Glass is one of them.

Motorcycles and knives and glass are all inanimate objects that have one thing in common. They do not like me. I know. It is silly for me to think that, but my experience so far has shown me that it is true.

Motorcycles have hurt me since I was a child. Oh not that hurt. No big crashes or lost limbs or anything like that. I got thrown on my back by a motorcycle. I hurt my leg on a motorcycle. And of course, I have been burned a time or two on the exhaust. So for the most part, I stay away from motorcycles.

Knives are the same way. I seem to cut myself when I use a knife. No big cuts. No loss of digits or anything like that. I do not even think I have needed stitches after handling knives. But I do seem to get some sort of cut. Even when I am handling the blade correctly. Which is why I am very careful when handling knifes. I want to make sure that they do not hurt me. Especially when it seems they are out to get me.

Glass does not like me either. I am not talking about glasses that you either see out of or that you drink from. I am talking about plates of glass. Windows and doors. I do not crash into them or anything like that. Nothing so drastic. Or hurtful. Thankfully, it has always gone worse for the glass than for me.

I think that I do not do well with glass because I do not really know how to handle glass. It is as if I think it is more rugged than it really is. Or that it is not as tough as I give it credit. Or that I do not think of it as glass at all.

Now, I know I should not do it, but I have thrown rocks at glass. Not like you see in the movies where a romantic person tosses pebbles at an upper window to get the attention of his true love. No. I am talking about high speed pebbles shattering glass doors. Yes. Doors, plural. No. I was not chucking rocks. I was using a weed whacker to edge the grass and the thing threw a rock at a glass door. Once in the front. Once in the back. Argh! Fixing glass is such a pain. Well ordering and replacing glass is such a pain.

And then there was the glass shower door. I do not even remember what I did with it. I just remember it shattering when I was fixing it. I was probably tightening a bolt or something.

Which is what I did on my latest glass fiasco.

To be fair, I was tightening a bolt on something I did not think was glass. The front handle of our oven had lost a couple bolts. They had come loose and the handle was hanging from just one side. So I looked up how to fix it and it seemed simple enough. Remove the door (there are a couple locking latches on the hinges), remove a few screws. Then replace the handle and put it all back together. Piece of cake.

The thing is, the part of the oven door that I was messing with was a thick piece of glass glued onto a piece of steel. I thought I was screwing down the door handle to something solid, not a piece of glass. So just a tiny press on my electric drill and crack. Another glass breaking incident. Like I said, I did not know I was bolting the handle to a piece of glass. I might have been a little more careful had I known. Maybe. Then again, this piece of glass was disguising itself as a piece of metal. I should have looked closer. But I probably still would have broken it. After all glass does not like me. It breaks up whenever I get too near.

I know that it is illogical to think so, but motorcycles, knives, and glass do not like me. Glass hates me the most. I do not hate those inanimate objects, but if I never have to repair something that has glass in it, it will be too soon.

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